Nous avons la sensation d'être une épave, un vieux chien galeux abandonné sur une aire d'autoroute. Les voitures, les gens, les vies et les destins passent et s'effacent, le jour se lève et la nuit tombe, mais nous sommes immobiles, au milieu de tout ça, de toute cette violente agitation, et faisons du sur-place. La lumière du soleil, l'éclat des étoiles ; non, plus rien n'aide à avancer. Notre âme est lourde, notre esprit comme séparé de notre corps, notre cœur ne cesse de trembler, et une douleur constante nous submerge ; comme un pieu enfoncé dans la poitrine. Ça hurle, ça secoue, nous ne sommes absolument plus maîtres de nos émotions. Quand un sourire assombri arrive enfin à s'esquisser, il disparaît aussitôt. Comme aspiré par un trou noir, comme noyé par les océans. Le temps est tout à la fois, rapide, lent, vide et plein. Chaque moment semble avoir déjà été vécu parce que l'on souhaite que tout appartienne au passé.
Mais dans tout cet horrible chaos, on espère. Oui, l'espoir ne nous quitte jamais. Nous n'avons plus que lui, il est notre rempart, notre repère, notre boussole. Pourtant nous savons que cet espoir est inutile, infondé, inconcevable. C'est là que des larmes commencent à couler le long de nos joues, que notre tête nous donne l'impression qu'elle va exploser. Nous ne pouvons rien faire, parfois même notre destin et notre propre vie ne nous appartiennent plus. Nous ne pouvons que rester des témoins passifs et impuissants de notre existence. Nous vivons à la troisième personne, avons la sensation d'être observés à travers une vitre sans teint. Manipulés, tel des marionnettes. Non, tout cela ne peut être réel, cela ne peut m'arriver. Cela ne peut lui arriver. Et pourtant si. La réalité nous échappe souvent, mais nous, nous ne lui échappons jamais.
Si vous êtes dans ce cas là, espérer reste pourtant votre unique chance de survie.
Espérez, supportez et avancez.
Espérez, supportez et avancez.
Do you know that moment when we realize that our life is falling apart? Where we know that the worst is not over but is still to come? We are here, without reference points, and we can do nothing except wait for decline. The will, the work, the determination; when nothing can change our destiny and its dark days?
We have the feeling of being a wreck, an old mangy dog abandoned on a highway rest area. Cars, people, lives and destinies pass and fade, day rises and night falls, but we are still, in the middle of all this, all this violent agitation, and we stand still. The light of the sun, the shine of the stars; no, nothing helps you move forward. Our soul is heavy, our spirit seems separated from our body, our heart never stops trembling, and a constant pain overwhelms us ; like a stake driven into the chest. It screams, it shakes, we are absolutely no longer in control of our emotions. When a dark smile finally emerges, it disappears immediately. As if sucked into a black hole, as if drowned by the oceans. Time is all at once, fast, slow, empty and full. Every moment seems to have already been lived because we wish everything to be in the past.
But in all this horrible chaos, there is hope. Yes, hope never leaves us. We only have her, she is our rampart, our benchmark, our compass. Yet we know that this hope is useless, unfounded, inconceivable. That is the perfect moment when tears start streaming down our cheeks, when our head feels like it is going to explode. We can not do anything, sometimes even our destiny and our own life no longer belong to us. We can only remain passive and powerless witnesses to our existence. We live in the third person, have the sensation of being observed through a window without color. Manipulated like puppets. No, this can not be real, this can not be happening to me. This can not happen to him. And yet yes. Reality often escapes us, but we never escape it.
We have the feeling of being a wreck, an old mangy dog abandoned on a highway rest area. Cars, people, lives and destinies pass and fade, day rises and night falls, but we are still, in the middle of all this, all this violent agitation, and we stand still. The light of the sun, the shine of the stars; no, nothing helps you move forward. Our soul is heavy, our spirit seems separated from our body, our heart never stops trembling, and a constant pain overwhelms us ; like a stake driven into the chest. It screams, it shakes, we are absolutely no longer in control of our emotions. When a dark smile finally emerges, it disappears immediately. As if sucked into a black hole, as if drowned by the oceans. Time is all at once, fast, slow, empty and full. Every moment seems to have already been lived because we wish everything to be in the past.
But in all this horrible chaos, there is hope. Yes, hope never leaves us. We only have her, she is our rampart, our benchmark, our compass. Yet we know that this hope is useless, unfounded, inconceivable. That is the perfect moment when tears start streaming down our cheeks, when our head feels like it is going to explode. We can not do anything, sometimes even our destiny and our own life no longer belong to us. We can only remain passive and powerless witnesses to our existence. We live in the third person, have the sensation of being observed through a window without color. Manipulated like puppets. No, this can not be real, this can not be happening to me. This can not happen to him. And yet yes. Reality often escapes us, but we never escape it.
If you are in this situation, hope remains your only chance of survival.
Hope, endure and move forward.
